After forty years of standing politely in line I will do all in my power to avoid queuing. At first I found the random gathering around bus stops in Australia confronting. Now I welcome the opportunity to move strategically forward, without barging, pushing or treading on someone; I retain my British integrity after all!

My biggest gripe is while waiting to board an aircraft. The ‘premium’ passengers likened to jewels and precious metals are ushered quickly through the gate. The remaining colour labelled passengers shuffle along the slow lane.

On one occasion while rushing to the departure gate I failed to notice the signs. Upon reaching the front of a line I was instructed to join the correct one; a mile long snaking line of non premium passengers. This experience reinforced my dislike of being herded; even if I am flying cattle class.

The solution I have found is to travel light and be the last passenger to board the plane. I sit in relative comfort as I await the end of the meandering line. There is plenty of time for a toilet break before boarding which counteracts the low probability of being able to use the dubious in-flight facilities. Even though the likelihood of space in an overhead locker is slim I stow my carry-on under the seat in front of me.

I am a status junky, sorely tempted to fly Sydney to Melbourne return before end September to earn enough status points to become a silver frequent flyer- I haven’t, yet . . . . . .