On 12 November 2023, ambitiously, I attempted to paint a watercolour of a cloud formation in the shape of Airhead against a pale blue sky. I had not considered the overall objective of the work. Being unhappy with the result, I set it side.
A couple of weeks ago, the prospect of running out of paper and a relatively successful painting of airhead in repose two months’ later led me to add to the cloud picture.
I am pleased with the result, Airhead uploading to the cloud.
As a child and early teen, the vocabulary and pronunciation of my native tongue were expanding. We lived in a relatively posh neighbourhood. The influence of the maternal side of the family, hailing from the Black Country was limited. Sadly the memory of my grandfather speaking has faded.
According to Wikipedia the ‘Black Country dialect preserves many archaic traits of Early Modern English and even Middle English and can be very confusing for outsiders.’
A typical informal greeting would be ‘Owamya aer kid?’ (How are you?). A suitable response could be, ‘Ar ah’m owkay tar’ (Yes, I’m okay, thank you).
My accent has softened; it is frequently incorrectly identified as Scouse or northern English. This would fit with the influence of the paternal family coming from Wales.
Being a shy introvert, I relied on myself to interpret and solve the idiosyncrasies of the English language aided with a dictionary, although I did not understand phoentic spelling.
A notable example of silently self learning was the word ‘determine’. For years I read it as ‘debtor-mine’. I somehow interpreted sentences without understanding the meaning of the word.
What a revelation it was when the realisation dawned.
Latin for the rule of three; my husband’s favourite number.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Home
Unusually for a Tuesday, I am taking a day’s leave. Our original plans have changed and there is a forecast for thunder storms.
We sold our house at the first open inspection, to a cash buyer. We arranged for a 60 days settlement period to allow time to find a new place. The weekend after the sale, we found a ‘late mid century modern’ (1980) house to buy.
In line with the terms of contract the building and pest inspection condition has been ticked off, only the finance approval to go. Fingers crossed this will occur by the end of the week.
Health
This morning, we walked to one of the local supermarkets to buy supplies so that we could have scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast.
By the time we arrived at Morningside Plaza the recently diagnosed osteoarthritis in my right hip had slowed me down to a snail’s pace.
Knowing exactly where to find our loaf of choice, I headed to the bakery counter. A burly baker asked me if he could help me. I pointed to the racks of loaves behind him, requesting a white, sourdough Vienna. I thought he asked if I wanted ‘normal’ or ‘finest’.
At times my slight bilateral hearing loss leaves me unsure, so I said, ‘sorry?’ An equally proportioned woman sporting curly burgundy coloured hair flattened by an oversized dark brown hairnet shouted back, ‘HE SAID, NORMAL OR FINEST!’ She then went back to wiping down the stainless steel surfaces.
My ‘finest’ loaf was bagged and labelled after I refused the offer of it being sliced.
Hubris
I exited the store into the shopping centre. While mulling over the fact I usually purchase discounted bread at the end of the day off the shelf without the need to interact with dubious assistants, I was confronted with a supersized picture of a tabby entitled ‘how’s your health’. Cogetating for a second or two, I thought there’s no vet in here. Then I saw ‘sugaring’ and ‘waxing’, I guessed the ad was related to beauty treatments.
Convinced others are seeing me as some sort of elderly idiot, I am now frightened my brain may be slowing down; quelle horreur!
I have read the book, watched the video more than a couple of times, cast spells and promptly forgotten about visualising something into our live.
This evening, my husband revealed to me in the spa; whenever he has focussed on our next move, it has eventuated.
We are currently in a period of extreme life challenges. According to the ravings of evangelical fundamentalists, we are faced with oppotunities.
Carpe diem, indeed!
Time will tell if our mid-century modern, Palm Springs house is realised in Queensland…….
I met my future husband when he was about to turn 31 and I had turned 30.
Over the years, our shared adventures have taken us around the world and jetting between hemispheres. Amazing family and friends have enriched our lives.
Yesterday morning, we arrived in Sydney, our home for 20 years prior to making the move to Brisbane. This is our first visit in over three years.
After a light lunch at the MCA (Museum of Contemporary Art) we headed to the Sydney Opera House for a cocktail with a friend whom we haven’t seen for two years. He and his partner took us for a sumptuous French dinner at the Harbour View Hotel, The Rocks, Sydney.
Today after a late breakfast we wandered from our accommodation in the Skye Suites, Kent Street to the Queen Victoria Building, the revamped David Jones department store, and Martin Place.
This evening we are celebrating my husband’s 60th at Capriccio Osteria in Leichhardt, Sydney. Friends are joining us from Brisbane, Melbourne, Newcastle, and Sydney.
Those algorithms have started showing me ads about the price of cremations.
Reflecting on my heightened emotions and conversations, a couple of weeks ago, I question if they were due to a state of mind or reality.
Frustration; outrage; self righteous injustice; being aghast; and matters beyond my control are descriptors that pop into my consciousness.
At home I felt supported.
Outside, my reactions were analysed; The objects of my week of discontent were rationalised and normalised.
I was simply having a bad week however, not bad enough to need cremating.
A solitary feminine alter ego who feels connected to Gaia, Ancient Greek Earth goddess.
Practising white magic, she strives to bring no harm to others.
Some say numerology is bunkum. My approach is to treat it with cautious respect. I don’t live my life by it however, I’m fascinated by numeric occurrences that appear to reinforce something.
According to numerology.com adding all of the digits of one’s date of birth together (year digits, month digits and day digits) until a value between 1 and 9 reveals one’s life plan number.
For example, my husband and I share a life plan number of one. Apparently, an auspicious number, ‘People with a Numerology Life Path 1 are born to act quickly and have no problem changing course and starting down a new path. A secret fear of failure makes them ultra-driven in every endeavor they pursue and will often make them victorious. As soon as one finish line is reached, they are already running toward another.’ This is reasonably accurate of the two of us.
Taking the concept a step further, the date my partner and I became husband and husband is 24.10.2014. Maybe it’s coincidence that 2+4=6, 1+0=1 totals 7 and 2+0+1+4=7, does this balance equate to balance?
Assuming a shared life plan is a thing, the date of our wedding in numerology is 7+7=14, 1+4=5. If our combined life plan is five, ‘People with a 5 Life Path number are on a lifelong adventure. They are ready for anything and want to soak up every experience this world has to offer. Life Path number 5 people tend to learn by living and don’t allow themselves to get stuck in any situation that has outworn its interest. The moment things start to get humdrum, a person with this Life Path will move on to something more fascinating.’ Our life together is indeed a shared adventure and we seem to be constantly moving house. My husband wants us to become grey nomads.
On Friday 28/10/2022, we had a delightful belated eighth anniversary lunch at the Manly Boathouse. As we were leaving, I noticed we were seated at table eight. This just happens to be my favourite number and wait for it, ‘go down the stairs and shut the front door!’, on the day of our wedding we wore matching silver cuff links with the symbol for infinity, eight. Oh, and the date is also eight.
I rest my case.
Through curiosity, I am drawn to people who are larger than life; gregarious, and artistic types. At the same time, I stand in an awe filled shadow of them.
Fascination with them taps and saps my energy. Withdrawal is the only way for me to be able to recharge.
My flexible and compromising nature supports them in taking the lead, providing they do and say in line with my values; altruism, authenticity, equity, integrity, and time efficiency.
The consequence of them behaving at odds with my values is a barely perceptible departure. There in body; my spirit having long since flown.
When my thirst for them is sated they drift spectrally to the periphery of my consciousness.
Occasionally, a human awakens my soul. Through love, friendship, and shared experiences they become an extension of my being. Neither time nor distance changes the heartfelt connection I feel for them. The bond remains in life and beyond.
I am a conflict avoiding being who is gratified by observing and sharing in the happiness and enjoyment of others. This makes me a mostly flexible, adaptable, and compromising human.
When doing or making something, it becomes an extension of myself through the time, energy, care, and consideration, I have invested.
When met with dissatisfaction, derision or causing disharmony, I find it challenging to observe and step back from the emotive facial expressions, behaviours, and vocalised response of others whose opinion I value.
With a tendency to catastrophize, I may misread visual and audible cues leading to automatic assumption of fault, guilt, blame and shame.
Words and expressions pierce my consciousness like arrows. The protruding shafts remain exposed to be flicked and kicked.
At my most vulnerable, my only recourse is to close down; repressing the emotions causing them to compress, churn, and pulsate in my chest and head.
Amidst the inner turmoil, thoughts do not combine into coherent wholes. There is an incapacity for the clarity of articulation to be able to respond, discuss or even graciously accept responsibility.
It takes time to release the pent up energy. Lingering tension throbs throughout my brain. There is a sense of unreality amidst flat feelings, lethargy, and fatigue.
Eventually my psyche absorbs the hurt, enabling me to move on.
theINFP 