What a week

Nearby disused storage tank

It’s been one of those weeks where everything hits at once. Great news: I don’t have dementia. I do have severe depression, and when physical pain and systemic frustration pile up like they have over the last few days, it takes everything not to let the weight crush you.

Last Thursday was a logistical nightmare that turned into a physical disaster. With our car in the garage, I had to rely on public transport to get to my hand therapy appointment at Brisbane Private Hospital. What should have been a simple commute became a grueling obstacle course—navigating a total of 109 stairs across the journey, including all 86 steps of Jacob’s Ladder.

Between a broken wheelchair lift, steep incline, and hauling myself up those steps one painful push at a time, my body took a beating. Stupidly, using my left hand at the first flight from Adelaide to Ann street to grip a handrail triggered sharp, shooting pains in my wrist right after making good progress in therapy. Worse, the exertion flared up excruciating pain below my right knee and a stabbing ache in my right hip, leaving my mobility severely compromised.

By the time I tried to head home, a packed bus meant no priority seating, forcing me to give up, hobble down Adelaide Street, and wait in Hutton Lane for my husband to collect me.

Adding insult to injury is the ongoing battle with the insurer. They previously denied my right hip claim, citing “no material change.” Yet the objective imaging tells a completely different story: moving from joint space reduction in late 2022 to severe, bone-on-bone contact, sclerosis, and large osteophytes by early 2026. Carrying a 6–7 kg laptop bag on a commute isn’t just an inconvenience—mechanically, it adds dynamic force to a joint that is already structurally failing.

To top off the noise, I’ve ditched Facebook and Instagram for the third time. Bluesky is a bit less satisfying, but stepping away from the main algorithmic circus feels necessary right now.

I’m resting, recovering, and preparing for my next steps. One foot in front of the other—even when every single step is a fight.

Fur empathy

I have no idea how Stan feels when he is suffering. Our dog whisperer friend said they deal with pain differently.

He squeaks when impatient to do something, usually as the humans are holding him up. Stan snorts when he is excited. He has no volume control when greeting people he trusts. And utters a high pitched screech when you tread on his tail; who wouldn’t!

On Thursday morning, Stan’s face was so swollen we could barely see his dark brown right eye. The vet prescribed pain killers and antibiotics to treat an abscess under his back molar.

Over the past days the swelling has gone down. Stan seems a little subdued, seeking us out to sit close to us. Even between us on the sofa. I feel double as much love for him when he is off his game.

We are going to get another opinion about the need to extract the tooth. We want to do the right thing for our twelve year-young fur kid who brings us so much joy.

Post extraction

It will have been a week, on Christmas Day, since tooth #16 was extracted. This first molar in the upper right side had caused me excruciating pain during the previous week. X-rays did not help in explaining the symptoms. A bit of bashing around with a seemingly metal implement, followed by a “does that hurt?”, identified the offending, not so pearly white. The cause could be due to the nerve dying or a fracture. Root canal surgery would fix the former, while a crown would sort out the latter. The monitoring period, when I planned to work out which organ I would need to harvest and sell to pay for the procedure was short lived.

On the following day, a sliver of dentine on the inside of the tooth was behaving like a bottom hinged window when brushed gently with the tip of my tongue. Another visit to the dentist quickly cleared up the mystery. It had fractured down the middle, below the gum. With not unpleasant memories of wisdom teeth removal, while asleep, over thirty years ago, I happily agreed to a tooth pulling. To take place there and then with local anaesthetic, although “it will not be an easy one to get out”. Four injections later, what seemed like an eternity of rocking the ivory back and forth and a great deal effort, it was out, despite exclamations of “your bone is dense”. Isn’t that a good thing?, I silently asked myself.

When the anaesthetic began to wear off, I took ibuprofen with codeine for the pain. A sleepless night and limited relief resulted in the dentist prescribing panadeine forte. Migraine like headaches and earache followed for the next two days. Another visit to the dentist revealed I had a dry socket, the pain was due to the jawbone being exposed. After an uncomfortable rinsing with saltwater, a rather pleasant clove tasting concoction with analgesic properties was packed into the wound. Yesterday was my first pain killer free day. This morning the cavity is throbbing. I call upon the Universe to allow me the enjoyment of being able to partake in the upcoming feasting, even with using my left hand teeth to chew. 

Forgiving your trespasses

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You came into our lives when we were young
You came into our lives at a desperate time
You came into our lives with different views
You came into our lives you worked hard
You came into our lives you provided for us
You came into our lives and gave us a brother
You came into our lives and gambled on the horses
You came into our lives you drank when you lost
You came into our lives with anger rage and guilt
You came into our lives and took your pain out on us
You came into our lives you beat us with words and more
You came into our lives and drove us away
You came into our lives causing hate and pain
You came into our lives I forgave you
You came into our lives acceptance and sad memories remain

I was at a loss as to what to write this month, until I read Rara’s post:

Rara’s Bloggers for Peace post