Friends and enemies: the amenable keys to peace

There is a whole other non face to face world out there to be explored

everyday gurus


My five year old son has tons of friends. Part of the reason why he is so blessed is because he calls anyone he likes, plays with, talks to, or looks at his friend.

“My friend is digging a hole to bury Darth Vader in,” Jett mentions as we leave the park.

“Which friend is that? What is his name?”

“I don’t know his name. He is just my friend.” Looking at me like I don’t know what friend means.

The look might be justified. Maybe as we grow older we forget what a friend is. I can’t tell you how many people have questioned me about my friendships. I am/used to be friends with some pretty famous people. Other “friends” would always say things like, “you’re not really friends with so-and-so. Just because you met someone does not mean that they are your friend.” I would counter, “Well, I’m…

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Creating space to connect

Space to Reconnect

Being an introvert I am not good at investing time and energy into maintaining friendships. My partner performs the role of social secretary to perfection. A chance encounter in a pub provided the catalyst for us to organise a space where five people could come together and reconnect.

Preparation for such an event is usually marred by sore feet from spending hours in the kitchen. On this occasion, a simple menu of Caprese salad, Lasagne al forno, Tiramisu and a few bottles of Italian wine made this the smoothest running and easiest of dinner parties.

The resulting conversations around life, health issues, death, politics, religion and discrimination carried us into the wee hours of the morning.

In reminiscing we worked out that two of us had known each other for almost 30 years. I have carefully looked after the gift I received from them on my 21st birthday.

We have led separate lives with our paths crossing at various points in time. We agreed that our the perception of each other is a memory of them, it does not take into account people, places, illness and events that have impacted on them.

The outcome of the evening can be summed up in one of my partner’s favourite expressions “a quality moment”.