There was a time when looking like a shag on a rock would have the opposite effect of self effacement. It would have instilled discomforting anxiety and a draining of self confidence, lasting for days later.
The other day, two teams congregated around the door to the meeting room. Spilling out into the breakout area, groups of twos, threes, and fours stood chatting, waiting for the occupants to vacate.
I know the majority of my colleagues by name, a few I count as more than acquaintances, having worked with them for coming up to three years.
I invested my energy in striking up a conversation with a relative newcomer, they having previously sought me out for a non work related discussions. Within seconds they walked away abandoning me to my solitude.
Maybe I had not done enough to engage with them, to deepen our relationship. When working from home they often requested my help through Teams. I am always happy to assist everyone where I can.
There was a fraction of a second of realisation, I could not escape to the contents of my mobile phone, it was on my desk downstairs. In the present moment, I calmly gazed, taking in the twenty or so people; not a hint of a blush, sweat or wish to take flight.
When considering time in terms of months of the year I visualize an ellipse. Like a racetrack with January and December marking the beginning and end of the cycle. For me January to June tends to be a gentler gradient and a slower pace than July to December. By mid December I’m in need of a break.
The years in my life appear as a stack of ellipses joined together in an upward spiral. When I was a child a year seemed to last forever, so using this perception of time the first ellipse located at the bottom would be the widest. The ellipses reduce in size as they coil up forming an elliptical cone.
This is the path of my life through time, I can see where I’ve been and where I am now. I can make a guess at what will be happening in the next few months, beyond this the path is unclear. I wonder if my journey will continue to a peak or will the years appear to pass more slowly as I move into old age. In this scenario the path of my life could end up looking like a lopsided hourglass.
What does the shape of your life through time look like?