Dichotomy of being creative

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Order – disorder
I’m a contradiction! My mind works in a seemingly disorganised way; thoughts come and go, they may or not connect with each other. In contrast when writing my electronic journal I know that it’s unnecessary to order tags yet I conscientiously do so.

Similarly I read the same notices and signs over and over again, day after day – a behaviour that seems to border on being obsessive-compulsive. Perhaps it’s a hangover from my school days when my name, class and date had to be written in a certain way, in a particular place on a page.

Creative constraint
I find creating things a challenge because I have difficulty letting myself go. I work according to many self imposed rules – colouring within the lines! Having said this I don’t possess the accuracy or patience needed for technical drawing or graphic design.

I exist in a state of limbo where nothing I create is quite good enough. As you can imagine self doubt and not being able to live up to my self imposed standards knocks my self confidence.
As I don’t have the benefit of self approval, I seek feedback from others. I know from experience that I don’t react well to negative criticism, what a predicament!

5 thoughts on “Dichotomy of being creative

  1. You know, if ever we managed to create something that was good enough, so we could sit back and look and think, ‘yes, that is perfect’, I think we would be lost. What dreams would remain? Where would we go to seek the heights?
    The imperfections are, perhaps, the real expression of a deeper perfection that allows the freedom to keep reaching for the stars.

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