Halloween thoughts

I was going to write that I’d been thinking for a while it feels like we’re in a holding pattern. Being in limbo, on the way to something, somewhere.

Today I realised, pondering on an unknown future takes me away from enjoying the present. Where we are now, so much to celebrate.

It’s not the first time this has happened. Previously, shortly after turning fifty, I was checking out retirement living.

Another thought occurred to me while showering: Is it foolish to accept a nagging want to not grow old, opening a world of risk?

Conscious over indulgence leading to an early death.

Avoiding enjoyment in the present, in case, prematurely, the reaper calls. Disappointment in the extreme to embrace life when death comes knocking!

8 thoughts on “Halloween thoughts

  1. Covid motivated me to go on a healthy diet, exercise, and begin writing an autobiography to get a sense of the patterns in my life. I also started sending out some short things I’ve written that are funny about aging hoping to get published. Two county newspapers started publishing one a week. After years of health issues I lost weight became physically fit and healthier than I’ve been in twenty years. Stress from my oldest son’s triple by-pass and complications from diabetes followed by two grandchildren becoming suicidal has taken a toll and I’m having some minor health issues now. But for five of the seven months I’ve been quarantined alone, I have been happy, busy, productive, and gaining strength. I am beginning to get some peace about my family, so expect to get my act back together soon. Our Covid numbers are getting much worse, but I have so many writing projects that I need the time anyway. My son and his husband face time me from Cambodia every Saturday my son in Atlanta calls regularly and took a Covid test so he could come spend the weekend with me. I got him to help me put up our Dickens Christmas Village and am enjoying Christmas already even though this will probably be the first Christmas family hasn’t gathered since I married 62 years ago. I regret not doing what it took to get healthy before my husband died. It has made a huge difference in the quality of my life.

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