Recurring dream

Spanning decades, fear’s icy ectoplasm shocks my heart. Destination scene’s known as lucid dream materialises, only the route varies.

Deep within a dwelling, an unobtrusive timber shuttered room. A postern door opens to an unremarkable tree crammed yard. Overgrown spiky, entangled stems, ramble. Daylight barely penetrates the gloom. A sodden carpet of mildewed leaves, twigs and decay smother the ground.

Heady damp earth scent permeates my being as unseen hands claw, scrape, shovel, revealing a petrified hatch.

Dark downward sloping subterranean passage snakes forks, twists. Roughly hewn stone echoes footsteps, breath, rustle of clothing. Stepfather’s flaccid luminescent presence lumbers alongside.

Ever further trudging through the sordid depths. Always aware of being followed, no sight nor sound. At last, cavernous space reveals an ovoid mound. Knowing it’s secret, I turn to leave the cadaver, never will she make thirteen.

If I am not guilty of wrongdoing, why the anxiety of being found out?

Reflecting while writing; perhaps this is the resting place of my innocence and suppressed femininity.

6 thoughts on “Recurring dream

  1. WOW! Awesome description. I think your take on the dream may be right on. Such pathos and horror and fear when we can’t value our whole true selves. Society values the average….the lump in the numbers. But that’s all the numbers mean…a gathering of mediocrity. Anything different scares those without understanding of the riches of variety in humanity. I have learned from experience that gay men treat women, particularly older or less physically attractive women as people of value and interest. Hope someday the rest of the male gender will evolve enough to be that mature and kind.

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