Calm; not panic

There was a time when looking like a shag on a rock would have the opposite effect of self effacement. It would have instilled discomforting anxiety and a draining of self confidence, lasting for days later.

The other day, two teams congregated around the door to the meeting room. Spilling out into the breakout area, groups of twos, threes, and fours stood chatting, waiting for the occupants to vacate.

I know the majority of my colleagues by name, a few I count as more than acquaintances, having worked with them for coming up to three years.

I invested my energy in striking up a conversation with a relative newcomer, they having previously sought me out for a non work related discussions. Within seconds they walked away abandoning me to my solitude.

Maybe I had not done enough to engage with them, to deepen our relationship. When working from home they often requested my help through Teams. I am always happy to assist everyone where I can.

There was a fraction of a second of realisation, I could not escape to the contents of my mobile phone, it was on my desk downstairs. In the present moment, I calmly gazed, taking in the twenty or so people; not a hint of a blush, sweat or wish to take flight.

Acceptance

Lately, I’ve been mulling over the concept of acceptance in contributing to happiness.

For me, conscious and unconscious resistance can lead to spending more money than we have and overindulgence in the hip widening and liver damaging luxuries of life.

The resulting feelings of frustration, anger, shame, blame, guilt, self-loathing, and self-doubt are overwhelming.

Ruminating on the past while agonising over the consequences of my actions, results in a harsh reality. Appropriately described in the idiom, ‘you’ve made your bed, now lie on it.’ A mantra I frequently use to beat myself with.

Sometimes, being dissatisfied with my current lot, I can be impatient in getting to where I believe we are striving to be. Dangerous territory, being built on a vague assumption and an indeterminate plan.

Frenzied discombobulated highly tiring brain activity follows. This green tinted lens lessens my appreciation of what we have in our relationship, friends and family, home life, home location and surrounds, lifestyle, work balance, safety, and freedom.

I have found refusing to accept our situation significantly impacts my mental resilience. Compounding incidents hasten a downward spiralling mood. The only way out is for me to provide myself permission to embrace the present and take time to enjoy what is now, not what was, or may be.

Paradise

 It is so easy to slip into automatic pilot for the journey to work. Today was different. I would like to thank the driver who welcomed me to his bus with a chirpy “good morning”. 

Since prepaid fares have been introduced in Sydney there is little need to interact with the driver. Being greeting was part of the story; the driver also played familiar songs and wished everyone a good day as they alighted. 
I tell others about the beauty of Australia, usually referring to the beaches, outback and rainforests. Today I was given several moments in urban paradise. 
The songs included Don’t you forget about me by Simple Minds, Really wanna know you by Gary Wright and Paradise by Coldplay. 

Space

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Many a time, as a child, did I lie
Back aground gazing up high to the sky.
Dinosaurs, elephants; continents too
Drifting so slowly ‘gainst heavenly blue.
So long did I stay that time slipped away;
No troubles here; wish forever to stay.

For life in the moment, gone is the past.
Being present; the way to make life last.
Knowing and accepting myself is key
For me to connect with humanity.
Around me life’s lived at dizzying pace,
It’s challenging to find a quiet space.

I savour life’s many wonders; behold
Life shines bright when embraced, try to be bold.
All, it seemed lay outside when I was small.
Now, I know place to look’s inside us all.
Oft times I ponder the future, a dream
Of what could be; borne upon a moon beam.

(c) Robert Jones 2014, All Rights Reserved

Being present

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A moment forward
Hasn’t happened yet
A moment backwards
May as well forget

Light advances
Darkness recedes
Takes life’s chances
He who succeeds

Living in the now
Releases my strife
Being strong somehow
By accepting life

(c) Robert Jones 2014, All Rights Reserved

Overcoming gravity

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I have spent the last three weeks enjoying catching up with friends and family, chilling on the deck, walking Stan and bobbing around in the pool. What a shock I had this morning when I enthusiastically suggested going to the gym. The gravitational pull of the earth seems to have increased ten-fold.

I was exhausted after five minutes, persisting with my cardio workout on the cross trainer for another twenty was doubly challenging when consciously staying in the moment. This is definitely a time to let your mind wander and unconsciously let the minutes fly by.

I was thrilled yesterday to be able to capture this image of a lorikeet in a nearby bottlebrush tree, they deal with gravity with dignity and grace, I have a lot to learn

Could have, should have, would have

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I have held onto Édith Piaf’s “No Regrets” as a kind of mantra since my late teens, even so, turning 50 last Thursday led me to reflect on the past, present and future. Would things have been different if I had done this or that?

The above picture taken from the back of the sunset cruise sailboat as we returned to Port Douglas marina last Saturday reinforced to me that the past is just that, the future hasn’t happened yet and the present is all we truly have.

“Non, je ne regrette rien” (meaning “No, I regret nothing”) is a French song composed by Charles Dumont, with lyrics by Michel Vaucaire. It was written in 1956, and is best known through Piaf’s 1960 recording, which spent seven weeks atop the French Singles & Airplay Reviews chart

No! No regrets
No! I will have no regrets
All the things
That went wrong
For at last I have learned to be strong

No! No regrets
No! I will have no regrets
For the grief doesn’t last
It is gone
I’ve forgotten the past

And the memories I had
I no longer desire
Both the good and the bad
I have flung in a fire
And I feel in my heart
That the seed has been sown
It is something quite new
It’s like nothing I’ve known

No! No regrets
No! I will have no regrets
All the things that went wrong
For at last I have learned to be strong

No! No regrets
No! I will have no regrets
For the seed that is new
It’s the love that is growing for you

References
Non, je ne regrette rien – Wikipedia
No regrets lyrics – Azlyrics